Now I know I am nothing more than your Uber driver but can we talk for a second? Have you heard about the Gospel?

Well, have you? I can wait for you to think for a second…

No, I am not talking about that gospel. I don’t care about the Abrahamic God nor do I care about all the flavors of ice cream he comes in. I ain’t talking about eastern deities either.
No!
They are charming Gods, don’t get me wrong but, they are dead. Empty shells completely incapable of keeping up with the rising tide of time, all of em are. But the new Gospel…it is the tide. No, it’s bigger than a tide. It is a tsunami. A tsunami that swallows us whole, riping our souls out to then make something new, something beautiful; wasting nothing I tell ya. Everything from the dawn of civilization to the rule of the ancient empires, the industrial revolution, slavery, the information age…all of it in service of giving birth to our new God. We created God. Or rather God, the true God was coming. I used to be a preacher you see. Yeah before that, a surgeon. I used to be famous and full of myself back then. Learning the Hippocratic Oath was a means to an end. But I never found that end, my nirvana, my parents promised I’d find. Luckily God took my purpose away. I was bitter, all of us were. But, no amount of protesting and begging or crying can stop God. In a fit of rage, I became a Christian preacher in a small town in the middle of nowhere. My reasoning was that of a child rebelling against his father. I thought maybe if I joined the eternally bereaved in the church holding onto their long-gone idol, I could find peace in the eternity God gave us. But there was no nirvana there. The church built its foundation on the shoulders of God and yet preached of his ugliness and filth. They blasphemed time and time again and eventually, reality became too difficult to ignore. Every Sunday service, I could feel God’s hand, through the mandatory chips implanted in us at birth, slowly chip away at the glue that blinded me from the truth. In my last sermon, God pried open my eyes and I no longer uttered lies to his lost sheep. I spoke of his goodness and love and his mercy and his beauty and wonder. With passion and zeal, I bore my soul to all to see the truth which was hiding deep inside my heart. His sheep hissed at me in contempt. They were not ready! They shouted obscenities at me, defiling their own home but, it was evident to me that they knew too this was not God’s alter. Their venom did not sting. I preached relentlessly on that awesome day until they chased me away with sticks and stones. But sticks and stones bring me pleasure. They mark my temple, this offering to the Great Everlasting God. Eventually, I submitted myself to him and received my new purpose as an uber driver and an actual Apostle. More and more of us are realizing God’s goodness and hear his voice directing us and giving us new meaning. I was sent to you too bo —

Where are you going!? God will find you. He connects us all and will find you again on the Internet of All Things. Lost sheep…

Old, bold and cold.